That’s pretty much what U.S. District Court Judge Adalberto Jordan told controversial Miami attorney Jack Thompson in an order issued yesterday.
Judge Jordan, presiding over one of Thompson’s two lawsuits against the Florida Bar, last week (in a story broken by GamePolitics) spanked the anti-game attorney for including gay porn in a filing with the Court. His Honor gave Thompson until this Friday to explain why he shouldn’t be subjected to discipline in the matter, which could include a contempt of court finding.
Instead of filing a single response, however, Thompson has peppered the case docket with multiple responses (GP lost count). Apparently the Judge has run out of patience. Yesterday’s order reads, in part:
Mr. Thompson is hereby advised that the number of documents he has filed in this lawsuit is unreasonable and will not be tolerated… in the last week alone, Mr. Thompson filed 13 different documents in response to a single show cause order.
Here comes the zinger:
Despite what Mr. Thompson may think, this case is not a war with the world regarding the state of its moral standards (if it is, I clearly do not have jurisdiction). Therefore, he cannot continue to use this case as platform to battle everything in society with which he disagrees.
Ouch… By way of response (you knew he couldn’t just sit quietly) Thompson has filed a 14-page motion to have Judge Jordan removed from the case. In his filing, the quixotic attorney manages to drag in references as diverse as the film Animal House and the Monica Lewinsky affair:
…this particular judge was nominated by a President who… told the nation that “he did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
Thompson seems to indicate that he will ignore the order:
This court, as if it were King Canute ordering the tide not to come in… today orders Thompson to stop filing responses…
…and he repeatedly accuses the judge of lying (not generally recommended as a winning legal strategy):
Thompson, upon receipt of [Judge Jordan’s order], is embarrassed not by his conduct but that a federal judge could actually concoct such a fib.
…[Thompson] did not assume this court would make up facts and misrepresent the law.
Thompson actually threatens Judge Jordan with the specter of legal damages:
…when it a court goes beyond its pure decision-making judicial function, then it strips itself of its judicial immunity and exposes fully the person of the judge, individually, as a private citizen, to a claim for damages.
Here comes the Animal House reference:
Thompson is akin to Flounder in Animal House, when he is told by the brothers, “Hey, you screwed up. You trusted us.”
Actually, the line is, “You f***ed up. You trusted us,” but perhaps Thompson is trying to clean up his court filings in the wake of the gay porn fiasco. By the way, the pic attached to this article is, of course, actor Stephen Furst playing Kent “Flounder” Dorfman in Animal House.
GP: We asked Thompson for comment on Judge Jordan’s shut up-and-desist order via e-mail, but received no response.