Jack Thompson Responds to Judge with Animal House, Monica Lewinsky

October 2, 2007 -
Just stop...

That's pretty much what U.S. District Court Judge Adalberto Jordan told controversial Miami attorney Jack Thompson in an order issued yesterday.

Judge Jordan, presiding over one of Thompson's two lawsuits against the Florida Bar, last week (in a story broken by GamePolitics) spanked the anti-game attorney for including gay porn in a filing with the Court. His Honor gave Thompson until this Friday to explain why he shouldn't be subjected to discipline in the matter, which could include a contempt of court finding.

Instead of filing a single response, however, Thompson has peppered the case docket with multiple responses (GP lost count). Apparently the Judge has run out of patience. Yesterday's order reads, in part:
Mr. Thompson is hereby advised that the number of documents he has filed in this lawsuit is unreasonable and will not be tolerated... in the last week alone, Mr. Thompson filed 13 different documents in response to a single show cause order.

Here comes the zinger:
Despite what Mr. Thompson may think, this case is not a war with the world regarding the state of its moral standards (if it is, I clearly do not have jurisdiction). Therefore, he cannot continue to use this case as platform to battle everything in society with which he disagrees.

Ouch... By way of response (you knew he couldn't just sit quietly) Thompson has filed a 14-page motion to have Judge Jordan removed from the case. In his filing, the quixotic attorney manages to drag in references as diverse as the film Animal House and the Monica Lewinsky affair:
...this particular judge was nominated by a President who... told the nation that “he did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

Thompson seems to indicate that he will ignore the order:
This court, as if it were King Canute ordering the tide not to come in... today orders Thompson to stop filing responses...

...and he repeatedly accuses the judge of lying (not generally recommended as a winning legal strategy):
Thompson, upon receipt of [Judge Jordan's order], is embarrassed not by his conduct but that a federal judge could actually concoct such a fib.

...[Thompson] did not assume this court would make up facts and misrepresent the law.

Thompson actually threatens Judge Jordan with the specter of legal damages:
...when it a court goes beyond its pure decision-making judicial function, then it strips itself of its judicial immunity and exposes fully the person of the judge, individually, as a private citizen, to a claim for damages.

Here comes the Animal House reference:
Thompson is akin to Flounder in Animal House, when he is told by the brothers, “Hey, you screwed up. You trusted us.”

Actually, the line is, "You f***ed up. You trusted us," but perhaps Thompson is trying to clean up his court filings in the wake of the gay porn fiasco. By the way, the pic attached to this article is, of course, actor Stephen Furst playing Kent "Flounder" Dorfman in Animal House.

GP: We asked Thompson for comment on Judge Jordan's shut up-and-desist order via e-mail, but received no response.

Comments

It's like watching a brain damaged child with a loaded gun... you want to pull it away, but the possibilities are just too entertaining.

(Yes I do realize that with that statement I am incredibly insensitive and quite possibly evil. Sue me later.)

Someone give Jack the number for the WAAAAAAAAAAMbulance.

I must appual you all, GP readers and dennis are getting a lot of practice in at deconstructing Thompsons arguements in record time and showing just how much of a fool he is.


Im usually pushed past amusement to anger by thompsons lies but these ones are incriminating lies to the judge deciding his fate and that can be nothing BUT funny.

Actually, my favorite role that Stepehn Furst was in was that of Vir Cotto in Babylon 5. :)

But to quote Flounder, "Oh boy, is this great!" :)

"Boon, we're the only white here!"

Damn my clumsy brain!

"Boon, we're the only white PEOPLE here!"

:: Raises left eyebrow. ::

And THIS is a person that Dr. Wunderman really wants to put his career behind by labeling him as "sane"?

Good luck with that.

And, yes, I AM being serious.

Nightwng2000
NW2K Software
Nightwng2000 NW2K Software http://www.facebook.com/nightwing2000 Nightwng2000 is now admin to the group "Parents For Education, Not Legislation" on MySpace as http://groups.myspace.com/pfenl

@Conejo - I see your point and admire your passion. Not to disappoint you or rock the boat, but I just don't agree with your approach. I'm sure it's a landmark in history for two people conversing over the "intarweb" to disagree =)

My point is that while we may have reason to question Dr. Wunderman's diagnosis, there are two major points to consider:

1. We were not present during the evaluation and diagnosis, so what information we do know comes from Mr. Thompson.

2. After watching the Destructoid interviews with Mr. Thompson during the Bully fiasco, it is blatantly obvious that Mr. Thompson has calm and reasonable side that would pass a psychiatric evaluation with flying colors.

Based on those two points, how can you blame Dr. Wunderman? What would it say of the professionalism of a doctor who searched internet forums and legal dockets to make his diagnosis? If my doctor diagnosed me on my past online statements, I'm pretty sure I would have been locked up by now.

I... i dont know what to say. this is possibly the first time that Jack has managed to make me speechless... with his.... wait... omg... Jack was SPAMMING a court?! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

@ C'tri

It'd be funnier if he had an ad for Viagra in with them.

@MaskedPixelante, just to clear something up:
"Umm… it looks like he’s trying to remove everyone that disagrees with him from the case… Isn’t that jury tampering, and thus HIGHLY illegal?"

You would think that, with some of the extremely tortured applications we've seen from Mr. Thompson, this would be the case, but jury tampering is simply what it says it is - trying to unduly influence the jury in a case, whether by bribing, threats, the like. All of Mr. Thompson's cases, from what I can remember, aren't even close to the jury stage.

Anyways, back on topic:

Ummmm.... wow....

I like this from the very beginning of Thompson's response:

28 USC 455 provides that “(a) Any justice, judge, or magistrate judge of the United States shall disqualify himself in any proceeding in which his impartiality might reasonably be questioned.”


The only problem is that this impartiality cannot reasonably be questioned by anyone. Not even Thompson. So we will see how long it will be before he has to get someone else to sign his legal documents.

Perhaps JT's tactic was, through his many and varied colorful courtroom antics and his deluge of filings, to irritate the judge, and then use that irritation as proof of the judge's bias. I'm not sure what other plausible explanation exists, but using the law as your own personal bludgeoning stick seems pretty crappy to me, and I imagine it probably runs afoul of some ethics issues.

Claiming something to the tune of "the founding fathers" : check
Claiming that the judge is unsuitable because he was put in office by Bill Clinton(specifically noting the scandal with monica lewinsky) : check
attempt to make court look bad by saying he "wasted his sunday" doing "research" : check
Incorrect legal document wording: check (don't use "Too Late" as it's own sentence, it really doesn't belong in a legal document"
Claiming that this is the worst judge he has ever seen in his "long" career: check
resorting to name calling and characterizing the court as a bully: check
Calling self a "culture soldier" by self and no one else: check
Claiming all he wanted was the same rights as everyone else and somehow didn't get them: check
using the "if, then" style wording to elude a point in a paragraph: check
claiming that the court is threatening him unfairly: check
unbelievable use of anecdotes as evidence: check
attempts to use a movie quote and fails: check
incorrectly writes "so help me god" (the exclamation mark dude) : check


THOMPSON. YOU FAIL.

there is no other way to put it. and I'm not even a lawyer, yet I found all those mistakes with your document. all of those are considered either bad taste or just wrong for a legal document. You sent them multiple pictures of gay pornography, and yet you expected no repercussion? the judge will not be recused, because there is no reason to.

"Too bad he didn’t use “This is fair…. NOT!” in his court document again. That was the most amusing one I’ve seen."

I'm expecting a "govern yourself accordingly. Or else!" letter from Jackhole to the judge any day now.

*sighs* Oh JT, is there anyone in this world you can't piss off?

But on another note, woah. JT's gunna have the book thrown at him, and then a bookshelf after that, at this rate.

I don't think Career Suicide is a great idea just to try to prove you don't think something is right. This should be fun to watch though.

PS: Why hasn't he been Disbarred yet?

I think the comparison to flounder is a pretty good one, but the one from the little mermaid, when flounder is on the boat, flopping around like... i dunno... a fish out of water?

Wait wait, JT will post here soon claiming something about some huge benefit to him or a huge victory for him. Ready?

hey thompson my local mcdonalds is hiring.

I've got it. His whole scheme. He's just going to keep at it with this obvious spiral into insanity and then sue the Florida BAR and the shrink who labeled him sane for not realizing he was batshit-loco and letting him carry on like this. He'll go for a huge settlement, then retire. There we go, mystery solved. Not that it would work, since it's not like he can file a proper legal document to save his life.

Thompson is not a Christian. He's the kind of puffed-up, self-important, persecution-complex nut job that drove me into agnosticism in the first place.

*Paragraph removed by author to keep Jackhole from turning this into a religious discussion.*

This is disgusting to say the least. (Can you tell I just finished reading his 11 page paper to the Ad Hoc Committee and his motion to recuse back-to-back?)

I think Senor Crazy Pants is just going for a solid steel coffin at this point. Those nails are getting awfully close together. How they are holding the splinters together I'll never know.

@jonc2006
Mine too, but I'd rather they hire someone else. I'd like my order without a side of, "Wanna sue the restaurant for making you fat and unhealthy?"

Here I thought today was starting out crappy, and Thompson provides that needed laugh.

When I read that line where he called the Bar "holier-than-Thou" I half expected the irony alone to cause a rift in space/time.

So the judge is harrassed to the point where it is impossible like JT, and he wants him removed? It's easy to see that the judges responses are influenced by JT himself, and that he alone created this negative environment for his own case.

I think it is contemptible to immediately disobey a direct order from a judge. The filing was the one permissible document, but the content was mostly fluff unimportant to the case. It was especially bad to question the judges credentials especially when your own are scrutinized. We'll see how it pans out.

BTW, even with my lack of law knowledge, this tatic to remove the judge was very blatant to me as a stunt. A lawyer or judge would see through it in an instant.

From only what little I've read, this judge has been very tolerant, and it would behoove JT to show a little respect for the judge, the court, and the Florida Bar.

Thompson is even more screwed then he was before :p .

Exactly what is the judge "lying" about here?

Good lord, everyone is sick of him. This guy's gone.

Hope you enjoyed your weakass legal career Jack.

lol he should keep going, see how long his license lasts :DD.... then do a barrel roll!!!!!

Man, you can almost make a drinking game out of Jack's failing attempts.

When are we going to ignore Jack btw ?

I fail to see any way JT could legally remove the judge from the court.

If you are ordered to provide a document, a single document, with your reason for xyz piece of evidence and instead you file several things, none of which comply with the request, and some of which attacks the judge outright, it's not the judge who's going to be removed. JT might be locked up for contempt, but the judge if free and clear.

I'm rather impressed the judge hasn't already started throwing the entire book at him, along with the bookcase, kitchen sink, and anything else he can throw.

Also, Generic Name, a barrel roll is not always the answer, especially if your in a boat, and it looks like JT is in a sinking one.

I think it's funny how JT blatantly points out the typo in the Judge's order with a "[sic]". JT's documents, if quoted, would be nothing but [sic] after [sic] after [sic].

Oh, Judge Jordan. Don't you realize that this is part of Jack's master strategy? See, by spewing his personal form of legal diarrhea, he's forcing you to reprimand him. Once you do that, he's *won*, since he can claim that you're biased, and get someone else to take over. He'll continue this ad infinitum until he either gets a Judge sympathetic to his cause, or until God tells him to stop (one way or another).

Of course, this isn't how things actually work in the real world, but that's never stopped him before.

I'm also amazed that JT actually has time to go to court, what with writing the millions of documents that are irrelevant to...everything and anything.

This just keeps getting better and better. Next Thompson is going to start quoting Star Trek.

I really want to see Jack's response to this...
I could use a good chuckle.

@DoggySpew:

"Man, you can almost make a drinking game out of Jack’s failing attempts."

I think some people already have, actually.

@chris, rdeegvainl:

I'd almost recommend sending money, if it weren't a little gauche. xD Let's go with the muffin baskets. :D

@Josh Martz

Don't forget checking this website and others like it, Googling himself, and firing off unspecified threats to people using his name in vain.

@Martz

He doesn't go to court. He sits at his wife's dining room table, in front of his laptop. GP is his homepage. He spends the day waiting for his phone to ring, reading GP comments and adjusting his fountain pens, such that they're all perfectly spaced apart and at the right angle.

Occassionally, his wife will stop mixing his meds in with his oatmeal and he'll leave the house, interact with the public and somehow manage to file court documents.

@DoggySpew

"When are we going to ignore Jack btw ?"

I'm hoping he get's banned from here once he's disbarred.

There won't be much use for him once that happens, so GP might as well spare himself a troll, right?

@ PlayItBogart:

"The judge is being illogical! Fire proton torpedoes! Err...I mean, legal documents!"

Dennis, you're starting to side against Jack. That's good. We'll make you a household name yet.

Onto more obvious matters, I am now taking bets on how long JT will last.

this guy has something busted in his head x.x;

From the JT Response:

"The court is like the schoolyard bully who taunts and throws the first punch, and then complains that what he wanted to be a human punching bag is punching back."

Is Jack promoting schoolyard fighting here? He's saying that fighting back is a GOOD thing.

@Kharne and DoggySpew

I personally hope that Jack Thompson will not be banned from GP. He's always a source of enjoyment for me--and I find myself scanning threads to see if he's responded because it typically makes me laugh ...

I think GP should proscribe to the Village Idiot idea--we keep around because he's amusing in the purely off the wall ideas he comes up with, but at the same time, harmless.

I mean really -- how dangerous can a man be who equates himself to Paul Reverie? Personally, I'd like to see him equate himself to Christ here pretty quick ...

If I may ask Mr. Thompson, as I am certain he is reading this... What will you do when you get disbarred? I assume you have some contingency plan for the worst case scenario -- I'm sure all of us would love to hear what your future plans are!

Good luck with your steep (like 90 degrees steep on a sheer marble wall) uphill battle to retain your license!

Any time now, he'll be in here to tell us how "The worm has turned" and how this is "a huge victory" for him. He'll tell us how we're all deluded, that Dennis didn't report everything, and we should al go back to our drugs and sex and violence.

Yawn.

Watching him self destruct is so much funnier.

/Rich, the new-er Nostradamus. Ha-ooh!

Next up: Jack Thompson VS Everyone!

There's no logic like Jack Thompson's logic.

No, seriously. It's one of a kind. You'll never find such out of this world, bat-shit insane logic like Jack's.

Wasn't this whole hearing supposed to start in September? What's up? Are Jack's insane ramblings keeping the whole process stalled in limbo or something? I was hoping he would of lost his license by now. On the bright side, these "tactics" have all but guaranteed that Jack will lose his license and burn his bridges while he's at it. At this rate, it may just be a Christmas present.

So let's start taking bets. How many more responses will Jack file? If you're right, you win a cookie (all the muffins are going to the Judge). My money is on 19. It just feels right.

42. I mean, honestly. Why not?
 
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