Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

January 19, 2009 -

In honor of Barack Obama's Tuesday inaugural festivities, Atom.com has posted an inauguration speech generator.

We'd rate this one mildy entertaining.

 


Comments

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a Fat ass day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Nazi", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually kill.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces asshole and dick head challenges like never before. Our economy is fascist. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Nazis. Our healthcare system is Fat lard. If your anus is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Hooker. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a dildo Rosie O Donald. But scewing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Mexico.

Finally, I must thank my noob family, my moron campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Socialist Party for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your cumwad efforts, none of this would have been possible.

 

Hmm I need to try this again.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

This is an eerily accurate result.  Just, you know, worded in a less subtle way than Obama's will be...

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

  So your just delusional right?

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

He's socially conservative, extremely fiscally conservative and extremely cynical. Not delusional.

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Some equate extreme cynicism with delusion, so it's arguable that he is.


If you go crazy then I will still call you Superman.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a dead day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "laser rifle", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually nuke with an atomic bomb.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces harsh and meaningless challenges like never before. Our economy is articulate. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for power armoured soldiers. Our healthcare system is special. If your liver is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Enclave Scientist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Yao Guai brutally maimed with a Plasma Rifle. But by angering the Chinese and relying on nuclear power together we can right this ship, and set a course for The Capital Wasteland.

Finally, I must thank my unimaginable family, my long-lasting campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank The Enclave for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of killing the American people. Without your misguided, and somewhat idiotic efforts, none of this would have been possible.

I lol'd.

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XBOX LIVE GamerTag: Harry Miste | Steam ID: Harry Miste | PSN ID: HMiste | EYE. HAVE. YOU.

| XBOX LIVE GamerTag: Harry Miste | Steam ID: Harry Miste | PSN ID: HarryMiste |

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

I enjoyed this one too.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a giant day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "robot", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually explode.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces alien and empty challenges like never before. Our economy is atomized. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for mecha. Our healthcare system is funny. If your anus is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a gravedigger. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a razor condom. But shooting together we can right this ship, and set a course for Brigadoon.

Finally, I must thank my locked family, my cocked campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank ECA for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of slapping the American people. Without your drunk efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Well, this is wierd =P

Hunting the shadows of the troubled dreams.

Hunting the shadows of the troubled dreams.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

And that.... is brilliant

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety" - Benjamin Franklin

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety" - Benjamin Franklin

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a penis day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually penis.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces penis and penis challenges like never before. Our economy is penis. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penis. Our healthcare system is penis. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a penis. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a penis penis. But penis together we can right this ship, and set a course for penis.

Finally, I must thank my penis family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank penis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of penis the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible.

 

Andrew Eisen

P.S. - Yes, I am that immature.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

That is somthing that came out of south park

America has just became its own version of the Jerry Springer Show after a bizarre moment in Florida involving a carnival worker.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Some is non-sensical, but this from my first try:

My fellow Americans, today is a superfluous day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "hammer", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually rig.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces grotesque and jagged challenges like never before. Our economy is limp. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for keyboards. Our healthcare system is operational. If your kidney is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a customer service representative. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a phone paperclip. But jump-roping together we can right this ship, and set a course for Arkansas.

Finally, I must thank my opulent family, my ordinary campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank AARP for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of murdering the American people. Without your perfunctory efforts, none of this would have been possible.

-Nate http://nate.tronerud.com/

(likes Obama, in fact)

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Glad to know I'm not the only one that filled the blanks with nothing but change. The result was entertaining

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Well that was surpsingly accurate... from my randomly generated speach: 

"but most of all, I want to thank minorities for making this historic occasion possible"

If you go crazy then I will still call you Superman.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

"re-nig on the promises you made in your campaign"

He's not president yet.

EDIT: This was supposed to be in response to the above comment.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

yes well, as of tomorrow, he will be the reason for everything that is wrong in this country...

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

You're thinking of a hundred days from tomorrow when he's had a chance to do actually do something. Until then it's still Bush and the republican's fault.

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Because a Democrat controlled congress had no hand in it, of course.  If you look at the problems with Bush's presidency, most of it stems from when he reached across the isle.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

The democrats "controlled" congress to negligable effect until they gain a majority just as the bubble began to burst and well after the wars were started. As such the republicans get the blame by virtue of being at the helm despite the fact that there's enough blame to coat everyone in government, and on wall street.

After Obama's first hundred days in office and he's had a chance to actually do something is when they run out of excuses and don't get to blame Bush and the republicans anymore.

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

That is the funny thing, already the he has started to re-nig on promises he made during the campaign, look at the people he is appointing and what he has been saying since he was elected. Right now everyone is to excited that he will be sworn in as the first black president to notice.

Now I am off to see what type of cheap laughs I can get off of this thing.

~Weatherlight~

~Weatherlight~

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Renege

Sorry, seeing "re-nig" for the third time finally got to me.

 

Andrew Eisen

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

I don't recall him promising to appoint inexperienced neophytes to the most critical positions in his government. When did he do that?

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Just spam the words change and hope, re-nig on the promises you made in your campaign, and offer a lot of vague talk about what you're going to change without actually having a plan to do any of it.  OH, and don't tell the people you're spending 152 million dollars for this event, and only 41 million is your campaign's money (meaning that its still 2.5 times more expensive than George W. Bush's inauguration, which people were bitching about being far too expensive), meaning you're wasting 111 million dollars of government money in a hard time for the economy. 

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

I didn't know there was a matching "angry conservative rant generator" too!

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The Mammon Industry

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Fangamer

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

I'd imagine that if he didn't spent that much and people that wanted to attend didn't get to, he'd be accused of being elitist or something. Plus I'm guess a chunk of that is for security/crowd control, which is an expense he's pretty much obligated to go to.

Really, I doubt they could bring costs down much short of not holding a public inauguration. Bush didn't have the same problem as he wasn't as popular/charismatic as Obama currently is. Well, I'd imagine he had some of the same security problems from protesters.

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

If he was truly as 'fiscally responsible' as he was saying he would be during his campaign, he'd have the inauguration at the white house with a small crowd and eat a turkey dinner, not have 4 parties and 152 million worth of security and other crap.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

At which point he definitely gets accused of really being an elitist, snubbing the people that put him where he is, no respect for tradition or the public, etc. All by people like you that have little to no interest in giving him a fair chance or making honest, constructive criticism.

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't, so he might as well go the route that makes the most people (in particular the ones that support him) happy.

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

He's spending $111 million dollars of our tax money for 4 parties and a giant spectacle.  How is that not constructive criticism?  Meanwhile, when Bush won and spent less than half of that, people bitched left and right that it was a waste of money.

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

Because he's pretty much required to hold a spectacle, and given the circumstances it's going to be a giant one. You're not suggesting any realistic alternatives, or cost cutting all you're doing is saying "He shouldn't hold a public inauguration."

Plus your constant repeating of how people complained of the lesser expense that Bush went to just comes across as whining and an attempt to vindicate Bush.

Not to mention that personally I don't really recall people complaining about the expense of either of Bush's inauguration. They were too busying complaining that he stole the election, etc, conspiracy theory. I'd imagine that if Bush had a clearer margin of victory, his expense would have been lower, and you wouldn't have seen people complaining about the expense either.

-Gray17

Re: Generate Your Own Obama Inauguration Speech

"OH, and don't tell the people you're spending 152 million dollars for this event, and only 41 million is your campaign's money (meaning that its still 2.5 times more expensive than George W. Bush's inauguration, which people were bitching about being far too expensive)"

Of course GWB was one of them thar ebil Republicans while Obama is a Democrat who can apparently get away with that kinda thing.

 
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