Onion Parodies Video Game Violence

The Onion skewers the video game violence issue in this faux news report which celebrates the launch of Close Range, a new game which features an "immersive, richly-detailed world where players shoot people in the faces with guns."

To see the video, click here.



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  1. AuntySocial says:

    The news anchor in that clip is a woman I am well familiar with, Bobbie Battista.  She used to be a reporter at Raleigh, NC’s CBS affiliate WRAL.  She left there to go work for CNN.  I’ve seen her on CNN a few times.  Having her be the anchor lends a sense of reality to the clip.  The clip was almost as good as the fake Zelda movie trailer.

    PMBD http://paysites.mustbedestroyed.org/

    The truth about T$R http://tsr.mustbedestroyed.org/

    EA + T$R = We’re all screwed

  2. LegendaryGamer00 says:

    Cue people making this into an actual game in 3… 2— Whoah, they actually did it before I said it, Great Job Net community, you haven’t been slacking off.


    (Meant to be a joke, plus I edited it when I saw the above comment).




  3. CyberSlammer says:

    What the hell is this shit?  I go to play the demo and as soon as you start the level, the damn screen goes completely red so you can’t see a damn thing!!

  4. Praetorian says:

    I’m not really a fan of the Onion, but that was funny — they managed to irritate the two groups I hate the most.

    Anti-violence people and PETA.

    Also, I think they are on to something…I could possibly pay ten or twenty dollars to just shoot people in the face…sounds like it might be fun if done right.


    "If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy floating by."


  5. Blu300 says:

    If you go on the website it shows, closerangegame.com, you can play the demo.

    Suprisingly good graphics for a flash game :/

  6. chadachada321 says:

    Gotta admit, that was pretty good.


    Though, honestly, like Praetorian said, it could be a fun game…

    -If an apple a day keeps the doctor away….what happens when a doctor eats an apple?-

  7. mdo7 says:


    Jack Thompson thinking this game is real and demand not to sell it to children and also wants to sue The Onion for glorifying murder Simulator in 3…2…1


    PETA claiming this game glorify Horses and Ostriches murders in 3…2…1


    I saw this video in the morning.  The Onion makes me laugh a lot.  Thank you, Onion. 

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