Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

October 26, 2009 -

A post on the ChristWire website argues that videogames, along with “nonstop dorm masturbation” and drugs, are among the reasons why our college kids are failing at life.

Author Stephenson Billings previously explored the topic “Is Video Gaming a Threat to America’s High School Jock Culture?,” but believes that the problem is even more widespread in college. Why? “Dorm rooms are like bacteria dishes where crueler and more virulent microorganisms are constantly introduced to breed in a frothy frenzy of poor judgment.”

He continued, “When video gaming is added to a culture of persistent sexual experimentation in a peer group of sex radicals fueled by vast amounts of mind-altering narcotics, reality is the big loser.”

Even more:

Sharp colors and quick movement like you find in Grand Theft Auto make these couch potatoes feel as if they’re really moving through life at a brisk pace while in reality growing obese. It makes them feel important, as if they’re achieving something, while their textbooks sit unopened on nearby desks. It sucks up hours upon hours when these children could be learning business or engineering. Instead of American history, they memorize the satanic rites of Resident Evil, thrill in emotional suffering with Silent Hill or train to be Columbine-style murderers with Dead Space Extraction.

Billings, who bills himself as “an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!,” also tells parents that if their child really loves them, they will submit to regular drug testing.

He concludes his article with a special note to his “young readers”:

The foundation of modern morality so necessary for the next generation to lead is not something you children will get sucking on the end of a filthy bong while yanking a joystick around the streets of San Andreas, gunning down minorities and looking for “Hot Coffee” as some mysterious classmate from Art History oils your tensed-up pecs.* This might seem fun now, but it’s truly destroying your soul.

The site bills itself as offering “Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.”  Other articles include Parent Alert – World of Warcraft and Cosplay Will Destroy Your Child, Teens Use Facebook To Support World of Warcraft (WoW) and Denounce American Values and The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals.

GP: It’s like The Onion, except it’s not. Wow.


Comments

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

OK, he's gotta be a Poe. The article on video games destroying "jock culture" specifically mentions that you can monitor your kid's computer use "without interrupting your television viewing". In other article, he calls WoW "gay-inducing".

 

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Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

He is right about one thing. 

It does seem like a lot of fun. 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

A post on the ChristWire website argues that videogames, along with “nonstop dorm masturbation” and drugs, are among the reasons why our college kids are failing at life.
 

---------------------------------------------

This guy is most likely a closet homosexual that is projecting his "self loathing" onto anything he can focus on.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Totally not true.

I recently got out with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration after playing video games and going through an Oz. worth of pot every week while rocking the casbah. Inaccurate research and it's because that  some people forget to dedicate their time onto schoolwork.

-Your friendly video game lobbyist

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"Suddenly, Raggedy Ann is killing Scooby Doo while SpongeBob sexually pokemons Barney and these kids have found a new outlet for their mixed-up physical urges."

Comedy gold.

---
The Mammon Philosophy

---
Fangamer

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

The one problem with satire is that too many people don't understand that it's a joke...

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

The problem with Religious Satire in this day and age, is it's sometimes dangerous to leave someone alone saying "it's only satire", to find out they really WERE that crazy, when they start blowing shit up.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Such as...?

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Ah christwire, always a good humorous read.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

“When video gaming is added to a culture of persistent sexual experimentation in a peer group of sex radicals fueled by vast amounts of mind-altering narcotics, reality is the big loser.”

That is what I call a "sig-worthy" quote!

But yeah not to sure about this site...could be Poe's Law.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"GP: It’s like The Onion, except it’s not. Wow."

Except that it is just like The Onion - check out this gem:

Behold the power of our Christian nation’s one true God! Last night all sinful Democrats who support Obama’s communist-NAZI Obamacare health plan received a wrathful warning from our Lord as he hurled lightning bolts at the Capitol Building!

http://christwire.org/2009/10/god-uses-booming-lightning-bolt-to-warn-de...

 

 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Westboro Baptist Church

Now I'm not saying this particular article isn't satire, because it probably is.  I'm just saying religious fanatics have done and said a lot stranger things.  Go to their site.  The whole thing reads like something out of the Onion, except they're 100% serious.  (I've got no problem with different religions either. It's just when people get fanatical, then it starts to bother me)

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

You call that 100% serious? Maybe it's just because I've grown up in the conservative-Christian midwest, but that site is FAR from serious. The phrase "nonstop dorm room masturbation" should have been a big tip-off, and the article about the evils of cat ownership on the front page is the kicker. There's no question that the site is satyrical.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Ah, saw your message up top.

I never said Christwire was serious, but I'm saying that something like this being serious isn't that far out of the realms of possibility, judging by the loonies over at Westboro Baptist

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Some of the stuff isn't too far out for the WBC. Other stuff... not so much. I don't think any serious group would post a story about the Chinese making an army of fire-breathing robots.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"That means if a family chooses to not vote for Obama or support his support for terrorists, for instance, he can just deny you healthcare for your precious children. You’ll have to watch them die a slow, painful death of the H1N1 swine flu or perhaps the Bubonic Plague."

If that's not satire....

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

I know why this site sound familiar.  Nobody remember this GP article,

http://www.gamepolitics.com/2009/03/26/faux-religious-site-satirizes-rapelay-controversy

 

Like the tile of these topic.  They're funny like the Onion but in a realistic kind of a way. 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

So the story was fake.

Geaux Saints, Geaux Tigers, Geaux Hornets, Jack Thompson can geaux chase a chupacabra.

Geaux Saints, Geaux Tigers, Geaux Pelicans. Solidarity for the Saints = No retreat, no surrender. 2013 = Saints' revenge on the NFL. Even through the darkest days, this fire burns always.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

DING DING DING

I think you've got the smoking gun.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"My friends, the gaming liberals and their atheistic Japanese allies are without morals when it comes to video game violence..."

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids


http://christwire.org/2009/09/is-video-gaming-a-threat-to-americas-high-school-jock-culture/

OMG, the NBA, MLB and every sport industry are evil.  They're using video game and they defy god.  They must be boycotted and must be kill in any mean even declaring a holy war on the sport industry.

 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Really?

I find it hard to believe that anyone who saw the title of some of these articles wouldn't be able to see the satirism oozing out of their computer screen, much like the mirage effect.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

So the moral of the story is:

Don't play with your joystick.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Another example of Poe's law, which states that parody funamentalism is impossible to distinguish from the real thing.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

I'm fairly certain that cracked.com is behind this one, given that they've specifically targeted the site. Have a look at this (Not safe for humanity):

http://christwire.org/2009/09/cracked-com-teaches-children-how-to-throw-...

 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Looks fake - some of this was too funny:

"All this indoor activity deprives America’s students of the chance to meet worthwhile peers– fellow athletes and the children of important people for instance. Universities are so essential for networking. It’s terribly necessary for the future careers of our kids to get in the good graces of their socially-connected and wealthier friends."

"Reckless, nonstop dorm masturbation is another major college issue. Without mothers around to patrol a young man’s bedroom and check their bedsheets, children find their bodies to be fascinating playgrounds for their curious, restless hands."

"The real leaders of the future will be found sweating from a long hard afternoon next to you in a dimly lit college locker room. We are all humbled and equal in our small white towels, lining up for a relieving, hot shower."

 

Dammed funny read tho.

 

 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Two things:

1. That is so many different kinds of fake

2. This sounds like an argument in favor of fraternities.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

I am NOT clicking that link...

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

http://outragedrichard.com/home/fake-or-real-the-truth-behind-christwire...

 

These are proof enough that Christwire is a religous satire site in the vein of landover baptist(also a satire site)

Landover baptist was encountered by one of the clans That I'm in until we found out that it was a satical site(happened a few years ago)

Watching JT on GP is just like watching an episode of Jerry springer only as funny as the fights

America has just became its own version of the Jerry Springer Show after a bizarre moment in Florida involving a carnival worker.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Yeah, it's pretty obviously a satirical site, although it's funny to watch half the people here treat it like it's real... The phrase "non-stop dorm masturbation" should be enough of a tip-off by itself.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

I just imagined someone oiling up the tense pecs of the average college student.

I have the urge to vomit.

Also, was he trying to imply that the "Mysterious art student" was a guy?

 

 

Actually this is a total parody site. He claims four million page hits on an article, yet his website is choking on page hits from one or two external sources. Nothing is registered to a name.

Total troll site.

A whois search could have told you this.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"The satanic rites of Resident Evil"?  "Columbine-style murderers with Dead Space Extraction"?  And this guy is worried about what college kids are smoking?  I'm more curious about what he's smoking.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

...Ow.

This moron owes me about 1300 dollars.  $1 per brain cell.

You break them, you buy them.

-- Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known

-- Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"or train to be Columbine-style murderers with Dead Space Extraction"

Stopped reading there.  I have never seen a bigger load of horses***t outside of one of JT's court filings.

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

They're about a psycotic as Dr nefarious and the Metro moron of miami(which I ironically compared him to nefarious on the forums)

Watching JT on GP is just like watching an episode of Jerry springer only as funny as the fights

America has just became its own version of the Jerry Springer Show after a bizarre moment in Florida involving a carnival worker.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

What is the core issue here, responsibility/focus you go to collage to learn not hang out at high school for an extra 4 years screwing around.


I mean seriously people blaming life for people who can;t live "correctly"....



Until lobbying is a hanging offense I choose anarchy! Stop supporting big media and furthering the criminalization of consumers!! http://zippydsmlee.wordpress.com/


Copyright infringement is nothing more than civil disobedience to a bad set of laws. Let's renegotiate them.

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Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

This Guy that made the arguement(on christwire) is really the one on drugs here

Could someone Call for the big lipped aligator moment

a number of idiots(including The Metro Moron of Miami) should be the ones to submit to Drug Testing

Watching JT on GP is just like watching an episode of Jerry springer only as funny as the fights

America has just became its own version of the Jerry Springer Show after a bizarre moment in Florida involving a carnival worker.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Did we break thier website? i cant hardly load it.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

 If that "threat to jock culture" is real you have to laugh. I read that line and reached...so? Surely anything that works against "jock" culture is a good thing considering all the harm jocks do on college (and high school) campuses.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Two options here, both of them bad..

Either someone like this actually exists and is serious..

Or there are so many people that are seriously like this, that there is legitimate confusion as to whether or not this guy is sincere.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Wait, Jock culture is somehow "wholesome"?  The Highschool I went to was dripping with Jock Culture, and those guys were engaging in adult-approved (and facilitated in some cases) binge drinking, drugs, parties, sex, bullying (lots of that), and generally being considered above the rules.

The same bullshit extended into college.  The jocks/footballers at Rutgers U were hardly the wholesome types and had every perk, luxury (private dining halls), and advantage showered upon their dumb asses.  At every party, frat or otherwise, you could count on the jock to be the one to start the first fistfight or attempted (actual) rape. 

Football Jocks are the most unwholesome non-Christian assholes ever = Website is fake...

...but it did manage to re-ignite my hatred of jocks & football.  Being angry is not a good way to spend a Monday afternoon.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Why, upon reading that article, do I get the feeling that this guy doesn't get enough sex, or games, or drugs? Maybe if he tried them more liberally he might lose some of that crazy.

Check out my blog - http://serveratcapacity.blogspot.com

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

This is the same website that took a video of a kid spazzing out from joy over getting a Wii, and turned around and said the kid had been "possesed by evil demons present in every Wii system".  I don't think too many people would take this site seriously, and those who would would easily lose any arguement where it was cited.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

 Ya, looking around there's some debate as to how geniune that site is... with much leaning towards it being a work of satire... always hard to tell since some people really are just THAT dumb...

Hell skimming though that warcraft and Cosplay screams satire... the first thing that popped out was the mention of blood rituals that take place at comic convention... the second thing and most noticable was the anime cosplay picture with the line "now THAT's a rukia cosplay" under it... Yaaaaaaaaaaa, i really don't think an actual crazy conservative christian site would include a line like that, even if it's follow by a typical line

 

So ya, i'm chalking this up to satire instead of stupid conservatives

Though a bit of a poor satire sometimes as far as comedy goes as it should be even more obvious... they don't push the crazy enough... their crazy enough to be satire, but sound enough like extreme conservative christians to sound almost real... 

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"Conservative Values" that's all I needed to hear.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Another page that makes me think it's a fake : http://christwire.org/2009/10/the-bible-is-too-liberal/

"The Bible is too liberal"... on a Christian website ? No, it's impossible that these guys can be serious.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

It is fake. This is also the site that posted the "I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People" story that pops up in Google, and they have a bunch of other ridiculous crap about magically levitating mice and the Chinese building an army of firebreathing robots. The entire thing is too over-the-top for it to belong to even the craziest of Conservative "Christian" nutjobs.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

I posted this below, but it bears repeating here.  Google "Westboro Baptist Church".  If ever there was a group that gives Christians a bad name, these guys are it.

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson'll justify it in the end." - nightwng2000

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

Yeah, I know what the WBC is. Still, this website seems too wacky even for them. They're just hateful; this thing is flat-out nonsensical.

Re: Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

"The entire thing is too over-the-top for it to belong to even the craziest of Conservative "Christian" nutjobs."

Never heard of Francis Dec I take it?  He was a crazy assed lawyer who claimed to be the victim of a vast conspiracy.  After his disbarment his crazy gibberish became even more pronounced.

That sounds familiar.

-Ultimately what will do in mankind is a person's fear of their own freedom-

 
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