Games + Sex + Drugs = Fail For College Kids

A post on the ChristWire website argues that videogames, along with “nonstop dorm masturbation” and drugs, are among the reasons why our college kids are failing at life.

Author Stephenson Billings previously explored the topic “Is Video Gaming a Threat to America’s High School Jock Culture?,” but believes that the problem is even more widespread in college. Why? “Dorm rooms are like bacteria dishes where crueler and more virulent microorganisms are constantly introduced to breed in a frothy frenzy of poor judgment.”

He continued, “When video gaming is added to a culture of persistent sexual experimentation in a peer group of sex radicals fueled by vast amounts of mind-altering narcotics, reality is the big loser.”

Even more:

Sharp colors and quick movement like you find in Grand Theft Auto make these couch potatoes feel as if they’re really moving through life at a brisk pace while in reality growing obese. It makes them feel important, as if they’re achieving something, while their textbooks sit unopened on nearby desks. It sucks up hours upon hours when these children could be learning business or engineering. Instead of American history, they memorize the satanic rites of Resident Evil, thrill in emotional suffering with Silent Hill or train to be Columbine-style murderers with Dead Space Extraction.

Billings, who bills himself as “an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!,” also tells parents that if their child really loves them, they will submit to regular drug testing.

He concludes his article with a special note to his “young readers”:

The foundation of modern morality so necessary for the next generation to lead is not something you children will get sucking on the end of a filthy bong while yanking a joystick around the streets of San Andreas, gunning down minorities and looking for “Hot Coffee” as some mysterious classmate from Art History oils your tensed-up pecs.* This might seem fun now, but it’s truly destroying your soul.

The site bills itself as offering “Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.”  Other articles include Parent Alert – World of Warcraft and Cosplay Will Destroy Your Child, Teens Use Facebook To Support World of Warcraft (WoW) and Denounce American Values and The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals.

GP: It’s like The Onion, except it’s not. Wow.

Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Share on RedditEmail this to someone

71 comments

  1. Erik says:

    The point is that you can’t just pass it off as "too crazy" beause of the existence of crazy people.  You haven’t proven that it isn’t plausible for a Conservative too be crazy.  By asking me to prove it’s possible you are denying that a Conservative can be crazy.

    -Ultimately what will do in mankind is a person’s fear of their own freedom-

  2. Baruch_S says:

    Oh I’m sure a conservative could be crazy, but I’d argue that, when you become crazy, it overrides any previous affiliations you had. So yes, you could have a crazy person who was a conservative, but the fact that he’s patently insane would really make his former conservative ties a moot point in relation to any insane crap that he spouts. He’d be representing the crazy person’s view of things, not the sane conservative view.

  3. Baruch_S says:

    How is it relevant? He’s a paranoid schizophrenic, not a Conservative Christian. What he would plausibly say has nothing to do with what a a conservative Christian would plausibly say. You’ve proven that someone (a psychotic someone) might say these absurd things, but you’ve done nothing to show that it’s plausible to believe the a Conservative Christian would say them as the site it claiming.

  4. Austin_Lewis says:

    Two things:

    1. That is so many different kinds of fake

    2. This sounds like an argument in favor of fraternities.

  5. Austin_Lewis says:

    Really?

    I find it hard to believe that anyone who saw the title of some of these articles wouldn’t be able to see the satirism oozing out of their computer screen, much like the mirage effect.

  6. Baruch_S says:

    Some of the stuff isn’t too far out for the WBC. Other stuff… not so much. I don’t think any serious group would post a story about the Chinese making an army of fire-breathing robots.

  7. Arcanagos says:

    Ah, saw your message up top.

    I never said Christwire was serious, but I’m saying that something like this being serious isn’t that far out of the realms of possibility, judging by the loonies over at Westboro Baptist

    "Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson’ll justify it in the end." – nightwng2000

  8. SeanB says:

    The problem with Religious Satire in this day and age, is it’s sometimes dangerous to leave someone alone saying "it’s only satire", to find out they really WERE that crazy, when they start blowing shit up.

  9. Erik says:

    Many of his rants were against atheists.  And on top of that he bore a very Jack Chick like unfounded and psychotic hatred for the Catholic church.  So I feel it is every bit relevant.

    -Ultimately what will do in mankind is a person’s fear of their own freedom-

  10. Baruch_S says:

    You call that 100% serious? Maybe it’s just because I’ve grown up in the conservative-Christian midwest, but that site is FAR from serious. The phrase "nonstop dorm room masturbation" should have been a big tip-off, and the article about the evils of cat ownership on the front page is the kicker. There’s no question that the site is satyrical.

  11. Baruch_S says:

    Yeah, I know what the WBC is. Still, this website seems too wacky even for them. They’re just hateful; this thing is flat-out nonsensical.

  12. Baruch_S says:

    No, I haven’t heard of Francis Dec, and after looking him up, I have no idea what his connection is with Conservative Christian nutjobs. He was evidently a paranoid schizophrenic, not a conservative Christian nut. JT I can see, but this guy? But that’s irrelevant as GP has reported this site as a hoax before.

  13. nighstalker160 says:

    “When video gaming is added to a culture of persistent sexual experimentation in a peer group of sex radicals fueled by vast amounts of mind-altering narcotics, reality is the big loser.”

    That is what I call a "sig-worthy" quote!

    But yeah not to sure about this site…could be Poe’s Law.

  14. Arcanagos says:

    I posted this below, but it bears repeating here.  Google "Westboro Baptist Church".  If ever there was a group that gives Christians a bad name, these guys are it.

    "Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson’ll justify it in the end." – nightwng2000

  15. BearDogg-X says:

    So the story was fake.

    Geaux Saints, Geaux Tigers, Geaux Hornets, Jack Thompson can geaux chase a chupacabra.


    Proud supporter of the New Orleans Saints, LSU, 1st Amendment; Real American; Hound of Justice; Even through the darkest days, this fire burns always

    Saints(3-4), LSU(7-0)

  16. Arcanagos says:

    Westboro Baptist Church

    Now I’m not saying this particular article isn’t satire, because it probably is.  I’m just saying religious fanatics have done and said a lot stranger things.  Go to their site.  The whole thing reads like something out of the Onion, except they’re 100% serious.  (I’ve got no problem with different religions either. It’s just when people get fanatical, then it starts to bother me)

    "Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson’ll justify it in the end." – nightwng2000

  17. SeanB says:

    "My friends, the gaming liberals and their atheistic Japanese allies are without morals when it comes to video game violence…"

  18. SeanB says:

    "That means if a family chooses to not vote for Obama or support his support for terrorists, for instance, he can just deny you healthcare for your precious children. You’ll have to watch them die a slow, painful death of the H1N1 swine flu or perhaps the Bubonic Plague."

    If that’s not satire….

  19. Gardog says:

    "GP: It’s like The Onion, except it’s not. Wow."

    Except that it is just like The Onion – check out this gem:

    Behold the power of our Christian nation’s one true God! Last night all sinful Democrats who support Obama’s communist-NAZI Obamacare health plan received a wrathful warning from our Lord as he hurled lightning bolts at the Capitol Building!

    http://christwire.org/2009/10/god-uses-booming-lightning-bolt-to-warn-democrats-to-ban-obamacare/

     

     

  20. Erik says:

    "The entire thing is too over-the-top for it to belong to even the craziest of Conservative "Christian" nutjobs."

    Never heard of Francis Dec I take it?  He was a crazy assed lawyer who claimed to be the victim of a vast conspiracy.  After his disbarment his crazy gibberish became even more pronounced.

    That sounds familiar.

    -Ultimately what will do in mankind is a person’s fear of their own freedom-

  21. dsparil says:

    Another example of Poe’s law, which states that parody funamentalism is impossible to distinguish from the real thing.

  22. Arcanagos says:

    I am NOT clicking that link…

    "Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson’ll justify it in the end." – nightwng2000

  23. Gardog says:

    Looks fake – some of this was too funny:

    "All this indoor activity deprives America’s students of the chance to meet worthwhile peers– fellow athletes and the children of important people for instance. Universities are so essential for networking. It’s terribly necessary for the future careers of our kids to get in the good graces of their socially-connected and wealthier friends."

    "Reckless, nonstop dorm masturbation is another major college issue. Without mothers around to patrol a young man’s bedroom and check their bedsheets, children find their bodies to be fascinating playgrounds for their curious, restless hands."

    "The real leaders of the future will be found sweating from a long hard afternoon next to you in a dimly lit college locker room. We are all humbled and equal in our small white towels, lining up for a relieving, hot shower."

     

    Dammed funny read tho.

     

     

  24. Baruch_S says:

    Yeah, it’s pretty obviously a satirical site, although it’s funny to watch half the people here treat it like it’s real… The phrase "non-stop dorm masturbation" should be enough of a tip-off by itself.

  25. PHX Corp says:

    http://outragedrichard.com/home/fake-or-real-the-truth-behind-christwireorg-landoverbaptistorg-theonioncom-fake-satire-exposed-atheists-and-immoral-liberals-use-reverse-psychology-to-promote-gays-and-homosexual-agenda/

     

    These are proof enough that Christwire is a religous satire site in the vein of landover baptist(also a satire site)

    Landover baptist was encountered by one of the clans That I’m in until we found out that it was a satical site(happened a few years ago)

    Watching JT on GP is just like watching an episode of Jerry springer only as funny as the fights

  26. Brokenscope says:

    I just imagined someone oiling up the tense pecs of the average college student.

    I have the urge to vomit.

    Also, was he trying to imply that the "Mysterious art student" was a guy?

     

     

    Actually this is a total parody site. He claims four million page hits on an article, yet his website is choking on page hits from one or two external sources. Nothing is registered to a name.

    Total troll site.

    A whois search could have told you this.

  27. MechaTama31 says:

    "The satanic rites of Resident Evil"?  "Columbine-style murderers with Dead Space Extraction"?  And this guy is worried about what college kids are smoking?  I’m more curious about what he’s smoking.

  28. PHX Corp says:

    They’re about a psycotic as Dr nefarious and the Metro moron of miami(which I ironically compared him to nefarious on the forums)

    Watching JT on GP is just like watching an episode of Jerry springer only as funny as the fights

  29. saregos says:

    …Ow.

    This moron owes me about 1300 dollars.  $1 per brain cell.

    You break them, you buy them.

    — Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known

  30. Arcanagos says:

    "or train to be Columbine-style murderers with Dead Space Extraction"

    Stopped reading there.  I have never seen a bigger load of horses***t outside of one of JT’s court filings.

    "Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven, Jack Thompson’ll justify it in the end." – nightwng2000

  31. ZippyDSMlee says:

    What is the core issue here, responsibility/focus you go to collage to learn not hang out at high school for an extra 4 years screwing around.

    I mean seriously people blaming life for people who can;t live "correctly"….



    Until lobbying is a hanging offense I choose anarchy! Stop supporting big media and furthering the criminalization of consumers!! http://zippydsmlee.wordpress.com/

  32. PHX Corp says:

    This Guy that made the arguement(on christwire) is really the one on drugs here

    Could someone Call for the big lipped aligator moment

    a number of idiots(including The Metro Moron of Miami) should be the ones to submit to Drug Testing

    Watching JT on GP is just like watching an episode of Jerry springer only as funny as the fights

  33. Lagwolf says:

     If that "threat to jock culture" is real you have to laugh. I read that line and reached…so? Surely anything that works against "jock" culture is a good thing considering all the harm jocks do on college (and high school) campuses.

  34. CMiner says:

    Two options here, both of them bad..

    Either someone like this actually exists and is serious..

    Or there are so many people that are seriously like this, that there is legitimate confusion as to whether or not this guy is sincere.

  35. Zerodash says:

    Wait, Jock culture is somehow "wholesome"?  The Highschool I went to was dripping with Jock Culture, and those guys were engaging in adult-approved (and facilitated in some cases) binge drinking, drugs, parties, sex, bullying (lots of that), and generally being considered above the rules.

    The same bullshit extended into college.  The jocks/footballers at Rutgers U were hardly the wholesome types and had every perk, luxury (private dining halls), and advantage showered upon their dumb asses.  At every party, frat or otherwise, you could count on the jock to be the one to start the first fistfight or attempted (actual) rape. 

    Football Jocks are the most unwholesome non-Christian assholes ever = Website is fake…

    …but it did manage to re-ignite my hatred of jocks & football.  Being angry is not a good way to spend a Monday afternoon.

  36. Baruch_S says:

    It is fake. This is also the site that posted the "I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People" story that pops up in Google, and they have a bunch of other ridiculous crap about magically levitating mice and the Chinese building an army of firebreathing robots. The entire thing is too over-the-top for it to belong to even the craziest of Conservative "Christian" nutjobs.

  37. Nekowolf says:

    Oh! I take you didn’t hear? Conservapedia has a Bible-rewrite/retranslation project, because of the liberal bias that has managed to penetrate into it. And to make it easier to understand, using modern language, such as "bais", "censor", "conservative", "home school", "moral majority", "socialism", "welfare", and "work ethic".

  38. wintermute says:

    This is the same website that took a video of a kid spazzing out from joy over getting a Wii, and turned around and said the kid had been "possesed by evil demons present in every Wii system".  I don’t think too many people would take this site seriously, and those who would would easily lose any arguement where it was cited.

  39. Monte says:

     Ya, looking around there’s some debate as to how geniune that site is… with much leaning towards it being a work of satire… always hard to tell since some people really are just THAT dumb…

    Hell skimming though that warcraft and Cosplay screams satire… the first thing that popped out was the mention of blood rituals that take place at comic convention… the second thing and most noticable was the anime cosplay picture with the line "now THAT’s a rukia cosplay" under it… Yaaaaaaaaaaa, i really don’t think an actual crazy conservative christian site would include a line like that, even if it’s follow by a typical line

     

    So ya, i’m chalking this up to satire instead of stupid conservatives

    Though a bit of a poor satire sometimes as far as comedy goes as it should be even more obvious… they don’t push the crazy enough… their crazy enough to be satire, but sound enough like extreme conservative christians to sound almost real… 

  40. Chamale says:

    OK, he’s gotta be a Poe. The article on video games destroying "jock culture" specifically mentions that you can monitor your kid’s computer use "without interrupting your television viewing". In other article, he calls WoW "gay-inducing".

     

    This is a signature virus. Please copy and paste into your signature to help it propagate.

  41. hologram5 says:

    A post on the ChristWire website argues that videogames, along with “nonstop dorm masturbation” and drugs, are among the reasons why our college kids are failing at life.
     

    ———————————————

    This guy is most likely a closet homosexual that is projecting his "self loathing" onto anything he can focus on.

  42. networkingyuppy says:

    Totally not true.

    I recently got out with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration after playing video games and going through an Oz. worth of pot every week while rocking the casbah. Inaccurate research and it’s because that  some people forget to dedicate their time onto schoolwork.

  43. BearDogg-X says:

    All Together Now…….

    "What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

    Investigative Journalist? The only thing that idiot has "investigated" is the bottom of a box of Froot Loops.

    Geaux Saints, Geaux Tigers, Geaux Hornets, Jack Thompson can geaux chase a chupacabra.


    Proud supporter of the New Orleans Saints, LSU, 1st Amendment; Real American; Hound of Justice; Even through the darkest days, this fire burns always

    Saints(3-4), LSU(7-0)

  44. Erik says:

    Okay, after looking at that site further I’m pretty sure that it is a hoax site.  If not, then God willing, I’m rooting for the 2012 apocalypse.

    -Ultimately what will do in mankind is a person’s fear of their own freedom-

  45. Cerabret100 says:

    WOAH…hold on there

    *rereads article

    That is so wrong it hurts. and Thrill in emotional suffering in Silent Hill? first off he would have been closer if he switched the satanic to silent hill, second of all…THRILL?

    I’m fucking depressed as hell during the final scenes of Silent Hill 2, the car scene in 3 where Heather realizes how amazing it was that harry continued to love her as his own, even knowing what she was/wasn’t put me in tears.

    The only thing that thrills me is that the medium has come so far that such beautiful and thought provoking moments can exist in games, which in my opinion far outpaces the shit we have in movies like Saw which are purely for gore’s sake.

    Edit: further reading makes me think that this is just a very subtle piece of Satire.

    2nd Edit: how come when i post it smashes all my paragraphs in to one wall of text?

  46. Erik says:

    Memorise satanic rites in Resident Evil?  Wait what?  You know if you are going to completely talk out of your ass you might find that mixing in at least a hint of the truth does wonders.  On the other hand this completely made up bullshit will just get you pointed and laughed at.

    -Ultimately what will do in mankind is a person’s fear of their own freedom-

  47. Beacon80 says:

    This would be so funny, if he weren’t serious.

    College students, suddenly free from parental restrictions, are always going to binge on whatever vices they enjoy (why do you think the Freshman 15 is so common).  I think half the point in college is giving young adults a chance to be adults while still giving them the safety net that is Mom and Dad.

  48. Magic says:

    He’s not serious.

    No. He’s not. He CAN’T be serious. No one can be that far flung from a rational view of reality and modern society.

    I don’t even know where to begin. This is funnier than satirical parodies of raving "Christian" right-wing lunatics.

    Then again, Jack Chict turned out to be real. And Jack Thompson.

    I don’t know any more.

  49. sortableturnip says:

    "The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals"

    Instant Classic!!!

  50. mentor07825 says:

    I don’t do drugs, never taken drugs, and he can go fuck himself if he thinks that I should take a drugs test.

    "God, is that you?"

    "No! It’s a me, Mario!"

Comments are closed.