Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

November 17, 2010 -

Cracked.com reveals six activities from Fallout New Vegas that made the author have an epiphany about his own humanity. Okay, not really, but "6 Ways Fallout: New Vegas Made Me a Worse Person" is funny.

The lead-in to the article:

"I love the Fallout game series, almost as much as I love myself. See, my obsession with the apocalypse chiefly stems from the belief that whatever monumental disaster wipes out the rest of humanity will obviously leave me wholly intact. Because I'm me, and you can't spell 'awesome' without 'M-E.' To increase immersion, New Vegas introduces a 'hardcore' mode that adds a bevy of more realistic features to the game: You need to eat, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep to stay alive, there are more lasting consequences to injury, and your companions can die permanent deaths in battle. And this has finally allowed me to combine my two greatest loves - myself and the death of humanity - like never before: I started one of these 'realistic' games, and vowed to play it as if it were really me in there. My traits, my habits, my morals. Along the way, I learned some things. Horrible, scarring things that I wish I could now deny."

So what were the six horrible things the author speaks of? They are:

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder
I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)
I Might Be an Alcoholic
I Am Utterly Shameless
I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)
I Do Not Value Human Life

Read the rest here and share in the inhumanity.

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Comments

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

Ha, this is a great read.  Hilarious!

I never played more than 5 hours of FO3 myself.  I loved Morrowind (but not Oblivion for some reason), and I played the hell out of the first 2 Fallout games.  I read all these awesome experiences people were having in FO3, and I thought it would be a slam dunk winner for me.  But... a short while after leaving Megaton City and wandering the wastes, I realized I just wasn't having fun.  I'm not saying the game is bad, just that it wasn't for me (for some inexplicable reason I can't pin down).

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder

Like the Brotherhood of Steel, where they keep the nice goodies away from evil hands?



I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)

First rule of the Wasteland- if it isn't bolted down and not under constant surveillence, it's fair game.

I Might Be an Alcoholic

If you didn't take a stroll down the Strip, stripped down to your vault-boy-printed underroos and went skinning dipping in the fountain in front of the Luxe, I doubt like hell anybody will hold it against you. If you insulted somebody, well... you had the extra CHR, so it's on you for failing your speech check.


I Am Utterly Shameless

So... I'm to understand you DID indulge in front of the Luxe?


I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)

That's why the Gun Runners are located at the front of the Strip. It's on you for not getting AP rounds.


I Do Not Value Human Life


Neither does Keene, Caeser, some elements of the NCR, Powder Gangers and every wasteland critter not influenced by your Animal Friend perk, so don't judge yourself too harshly- it's their ass or yours.

Neither of which actually exists. Because it's a game.

 
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