Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

November 17, 2010 -

Cracked.com reveals six activities from Fallout New Vegas that made the author have an epiphany about his own humanity. Okay, not really, but "6 Ways Fallout: New Vegas Made Me a Worse Person" is funny.

The lead-in to the article:

"I love the Fallout game series, almost as much as I love myself. See, my obsession with the apocalypse chiefly stems from the belief that whatever monumental disaster wipes out the rest of humanity will obviously leave me wholly intact. Because I'm me, and you can't spell 'awesome' without 'M-E.' To increase immersion, New Vegas introduces a 'hardcore' mode that adds a bevy of more realistic features to the game: You need to eat, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep to stay alive, there are more lasting consequences to injury, and your companions can die permanent deaths in battle. And this has finally allowed me to combine my two greatest loves - myself and the death of humanity - like never before: I started one of these 'realistic' games, and vowed to play it as if it were really me in there. My traits, my habits, my morals. Along the way, I learned some things. Horrible, scarring things that I wish I could now deny."

So what were the six horrible things the author speaks of? They are:

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder
I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)
I Might Be an Alcoholic
I Am Utterly Shameless
I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)
I Do Not Value Human Life

Read the rest here and share in the inhumanity.

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Comments

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

Ha, this is a great read.  Hilarious!

I never played more than 5 hours of FO3 myself.  I loved Morrowind (but not Oblivion for some reason), and I played the hell out of the first 2 Fallout games.  I read all these awesome experiences people were having in FO3, and I thought it would be a slam dunk winner for me.  But... a short while after leaving Megaton City and wandering the wastes, I realized I just wasn't having fun.  I'm not saying the game is bad, just that it wasn't for me (for some inexplicable reason I can't pin down).

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder

Like the Brotherhood of Steel, where they keep the nice goodies away from evil hands?



I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)

First rule of the Wasteland- if it isn't bolted down and not under constant surveillence, it's fair game.

I Might Be an Alcoholic

If you didn't take a stroll down the Strip, stripped down to your vault-boy-printed underroos and went skinning dipping in the fountain in front of the Luxe, I doubt like hell anybody will hold it against you. If you insulted somebody, well... you had the extra CHR, so it's on you for failing your speech check.


I Am Utterly Shameless

So... I'm to understand you DID indulge in front of the Luxe?


I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)

That's why the Gun Runners are located at the front of the Strip. It's on you for not getting AP rounds.


I Do Not Value Human Life


Neither does Keene, Caeser, some elements of the NCR, Powder Gangers and every wasteland critter not influenced by your Animal Friend perk, so don't judge yourself too harshly- it's their ass or yours.

Neither of which actually exists. Because it's a game.

 
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ZippyDSMleeuuuhhhggg in other news been sick since last night.....uuhggg.....I iwsh it did not hurt so much when my tummy wants to leave my body..02/28/2015 - 11:39pm
ZippyDSMleeBrings me to the Q why alt costumes would be needed in competition anyway... http://www.eventhubs.com/news/2015/feb/28/dead-or-alive-community-aims-ban-over-120-overly-sexualized-costumes-dead-or-alive-5-last-round/02/28/2015 - 11:36pm
MonteThough from a business side, i would agree with the article. While it would be smarter for developers to slow down, you can't expect EA, Activision or ubisoft to do something like that. Nintnedo's gotta get the third party back.02/28/2015 - 4:36pm
MonteThough it does also help that nintendo's more colorful style is a lot less reliant on graphics than more realistic games. Wind Waker is over 10 years old and still looks good for its age.02/28/2015 - 4:33pm
MonteWith the Wii, nintnedo had the right idea. Hold back on shiny graphics and focus on the gameplay experience. Unfortunatly everyone else keeps pushing for newer graphics and it matters less and less each generation. I can barely notice the difference02/28/2015 - 4:29pm
MonteON third party developers; i kinda think they should slow down to nintendo's pace. They bemoan the rising costs of AAA gaming, but then constantly push for the best graphics which is makes up a lot of those costs. Be easier to afford if they held back02/28/2015 - 4:27pm
Matthew Wilsonhttp://www.forbes.com/sites/insertcoin/2015/02/28/the-world-is-nintendos-if-only-theyd-take-it/ I think this is a interesting op-ed, but yeah it kind of is stating the obvious.02/28/2015 - 2:52pm
prh99The government probably doesn't need an app, but I was think more along the lines of a company that was going to sell the collected info. “If you're not paying for the product, you are the product” sometimes even if you pay.02/28/2015 - 1:50pm
E. Zachary KnightWhat better way for the government to keep track of you than to get you to install an app that lets you insult the government.02/28/2015 - 11:03am
prh99No, but I looked it up and it's basically spyware. Their privacy policy says their apps tracks among other things your location and browsing habits via cookies.02/28/2015 - 8:20am
Ryan RardinHas anyone here heard of an app called iCitizen? It's basically Yelp for politicians.02/28/2015 - 5:16am
Andrew EisenAh, not linked in the way you (and everyone else) want and expect. That's true.02/27/2015 - 10:06pm
Matthew Wilsonthey are not linked in a way that tracks purchases though. the fact that they have to send a code for the other system shows that they are not linked in the way it counts.02/27/2015 - 9:39pm
Andrew EisenAccounts are already linked. Have been for quite a while. Also, Mario vs. Donkey Kong was announced as a cross-buy title during last January's Nintendo Direct.02/27/2015 - 9:25pm
Matthew Wilsonhttp://www.vg247.com/20…/…/27/olli-olli-3ds-wii-u-cross-buy/ I wounder if this is a sign that Nintendo may finally link accounts across the 3ds/wiiu in the near future.02/27/2015 - 9:18pm
prh99http://www.romanoriginals.co.uk/invt/70931?colour=Blue The dress does comes in white and blue but both have black lace and a sheer back top, I don't see gold or brown. 02/27/2015 - 8:54pm
ZippyDSMleeDungeons was a so bad so good game to me so I been keeping up with its sequel which will more of a Dungeon Keeper clone. As for pre order out of 7 preorders I was not burnt by 2... Add my contempt of most of modern game design.Ya I have all kinds of hurt.02/27/2015 - 8:40pm
MechaTama31I don't even want to know...02/27/2015 - 8:22pm
ZippyDSMleeFun? I can do fun…. I think LOL. Dungeons 2 is on preorder but not via steam... >> Hell I am breaking all kinds of personal butthurt rules to even THINK about pre order...02/27/2015 - 8:12pm
E. Zachary KnightHad some fun discussions about that dumb dress on Facebook. I opened the original picture in GIMP and sampled the colors and determined them to be Blue and Gold. People still say I am wrong.02/27/2015 - 7:41pm
 

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