Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

November 17, 2010 -

Cracked.com reveals six activities from Fallout New Vegas that made the author have an epiphany about his own humanity. Okay, not really, but "6 Ways Fallout: New Vegas Made Me a Worse Person" is funny.

The lead-in to the article:

"I love the Fallout game series, almost as much as I love myself. See, my obsession with the apocalypse chiefly stems from the belief that whatever monumental disaster wipes out the rest of humanity will obviously leave me wholly intact. Because I'm me, and you can't spell 'awesome' without 'M-E.' To increase immersion, New Vegas introduces a 'hardcore' mode that adds a bevy of more realistic features to the game: You need to eat, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep to stay alive, there are more lasting consequences to injury, and your companions can die permanent deaths in battle. And this has finally allowed me to combine my two greatest loves - myself and the death of humanity - like never before: I started one of these 'realistic' games, and vowed to play it as if it were really me in there. My traits, my habits, my morals. Along the way, I learned some things. Horrible, scarring things that I wish I could now deny."

So what were the six horrible things the author speaks of? They are:

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder
I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)
I Might Be an Alcoholic
I Am Utterly Shameless
I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)
I Do Not Value Human Life

Read the rest here and share in the inhumanity.

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Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

Ha, this is a great read.  Hilarious!

I never played more than 5 hours of FO3 myself.  I loved Morrowind (but not Oblivion for some reason), and I played the hell out of the first 2 Fallout games.  I read all these awesome experiences people were having in FO3, and I thought it would be a slam dunk winner for me.  But... a short while after leaving Megaton City and wandering the wastes, I realized I just wasn't having fun.  I'm not saying the game is bad, just that it wasn't for me (for some inexplicable reason I can't pin down).

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder

Like the Brotherhood of Steel, where they keep the nice goodies away from evil hands?



I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)

First rule of the Wasteland- if it isn't bolted down and not under constant surveillence, it's fair game.

I Might Be an Alcoholic

If you didn't take a stroll down the Strip, stripped down to your vault-boy-printed underroos and went skinning dipping in the fountain in front of the Luxe, I doubt like hell anybody will hold it against you. If you insulted somebody, well... you had the extra CHR, so it's on you for failing your speech check.


I Am Utterly Shameless

So... I'm to understand you DID indulge in front of the Luxe?


I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)

That's why the Gun Runners are located at the front of the Strip. It's on you for not getting AP rounds.


I Do Not Value Human Life


Neither does Keene, Caeser, some elements of the NCR, Powder Gangers and every wasteland critter not influenced by your Animal Friend perk, so don't judge yourself too harshly- it's their ass or yours.

Neither of which actually exists. Because it's a game.

 
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Andrew EisenThat was quick! Pretty accurate cosplay of the new Ghostbuster uniform and proton pack: https://twitter.com/mirabellemusing/status/61673135125394227207/03/2015 - 6:23pm
Matthew Wilson@mast I dont know, but I do know it got a cult fallowing here.07/03/2015 - 6:22pm
MastermuneWasn't the Zero Escape series more popular here than in Japan?07/03/2015 - 6:19pm
Matthew Wilson@mast given the game was revealed in the US, I wouldnt be shocked if it was released at the same time.07/03/2015 - 6:15pm
MastermuneI don't trust the big AAA worldwide simultaneous releases though.07/03/2015 - 5:57pm
Mastermune@Infophile I have come to the conclusion that smaller games like zero escape, JRPG's and the like are actually worth preordering sinc they are limited quantities and since they usually release in japan first we know if there are any issues.07/03/2015 - 5:56pm
Infophile@Matthew! Awesome news. I'd preorder on that shout alone if I didn't have a policy against preordering anymore.07/03/2015 - 5:16pm
Matthew Wilsonzero escape 3 was announced today.07/03/2015 - 4:21pm
Matthew Wilson@pnx I am guessing a ddoss since that is what happened to neogaf, but sony needs to do a investment in psn as a whole. steam is still the most reliable and fastest digital platform I use.07/03/2015 - 3:06pm
PHX Corphttp://www.vg247.com/2015/07/03/psn-is-down-sony-investigating/ not again: PSN is down, Sony investigating07/03/2015 - 3:04pm
Matthew Wilsonhttp://www.vg247.com/2015/07/03/digital-extremes-trespasser-keystone-pc/ if true, this is funny and embarrassing for Digital Extremes. companies need too have better security.07/03/2015 - 2:57pm
Matthew Wilsonhttp://www.gamespot.com/videos/the-point-destiny-the-hardcore-gamers-slot-machine/2300-6425852/ this is very good, and well researched.07/03/2015 - 12:41pm
InfophileOther features to become standard: The ability to remap controls however the hell I want. Quicksave at any time (especially for handheld and mobile games). Plus everything Andrew said07/03/2015 - 10:43am
InfophileRegion-freeing becomes tricky for games with a strong online component though, especially when the servers are run by different branches in different regions.07/03/2015 - 10:41am
InfophileI'm in favor of getting rid of region-locking for any purchased games. I can understand an exception for free, ad-supported games, as many ads are only relevant in certain regions, and it's a ridiculous hassle to get ads for all regions.07/03/2015 - 10:40am
PHX Corphttp://kotaku.com/payday-2-has-been-broken-on-xbox-one-for-three-weeks-1715384186 Payday 2 Has Been Broken On Xbox One For Three Weeks07/03/2015 - 8:44am
Matthew Wilsonhttps://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/3bxduw/why_was_riama_along_with_a_number_of_other_large/ here is a more complete acount of whats going on.07/03/2015 - 1:32am
Matthew Wilsonredit is on fire right now. most subreddits have been set to private.07/03/2015 - 1:24am
MattsworknameYou know andrew, those are actualy rock solid ideas, I woudl like those features a bunch ,especially with games that a cut scene heavly. looking at you kojima!07/03/2015 - 1:18am
Andrew EisenActually, "things I'd like to see become standard in video games" ain't a bad idea for one of my future YouTube videos.07/03/2015 - 1:05am
 

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