Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

November 17, 2010 -

Cracked.com reveals six activities from Fallout New Vegas that made the author have an epiphany about his own humanity. Okay, not really, but "6 Ways Fallout: New Vegas Made Me a Worse Person" is funny.

The lead-in to the article:

"I love the Fallout game series, almost as much as I love myself. See, my obsession with the apocalypse chiefly stems from the belief that whatever monumental disaster wipes out the rest of humanity will obviously leave me wholly intact. Because I'm me, and you can't spell 'awesome' without 'M-E.' To increase immersion, New Vegas introduces a 'hardcore' mode that adds a bevy of more realistic features to the game: You need to eat, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep to stay alive, there are more lasting consequences to injury, and your companions can die permanent deaths in battle. And this has finally allowed me to combine my two greatest loves - myself and the death of humanity - like never before: I started one of these 'realistic' games, and vowed to play it as if it were really me in there. My traits, my habits, my morals. Along the way, I learned some things. Horrible, scarring things that I wish I could now deny."

So what were the six horrible things the author speaks of? They are:

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder
I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)
I Might Be an Alcoholic
I Am Utterly Shameless
I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)
I Do Not Value Human Life

Read the rest here and share in the inhumanity.

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Comments

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

Ha, this is a great read.  Hilarious!

I never played more than 5 hours of FO3 myself.  I loved Morrowind (but not Oblivion for some reason), and I played the hell out of the first 2 Fallout games.  I read all these awesome experiences people were having in FO3, and I thought it would be a slam dunk winner for me.  But... a short while after leaving Megaton City and wandering the wastes, I realized I just wasn't having fun.  I'm not saying the game is bad, just that it wasn't for me (for some inexplicable reason I can't pin down).

Re: Cracked.com Tackles The Social Ills of New Vegas

I May Secretly Be a Hoarder

Like the Brotherhood of Steel, where they keep the nice goodies away from evil hands?



I Am Inherently Good (Unless I Want Something You Have)

First rule of the Wasteland- if it isn't bolted down and not under constant surveillence, it's fair game.

I Might Be an Alcoholic

If you didn't take a stroll down the Strip, stripped down to your vault-boy-printed underroos and went skinning dipping in the fountain in front of the Luxe, I doubt like hell anybody will hold it against you. If you insulted somebody, well... you had the extra CHR, so it's on you for failing your speech check.


I Am Utterly Shameless

So... I'm to understand you DID indulge in front of the Luxe?


I Will Go Gay (But Only if I'm Fairly Certain I Can't Take You in a Fight)

That's why the Gun Runners are located at the front of the Strip. It's on you for not getting AP rounds.


I Do Not Value Human Life


Neither does Keene, Caeser, some elements of the NCR, Powder Gangers and every wasteland critter not influenced by your Animal Friend perk, so don't judge yourself too harshly- it's their ass or yours.

Neither of which actually exists. Because it's a game.

 
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PHX Corp@Adam802 We'll break out the popcorn in June12/19/2014 - 9:23pm
ZippyDSMleeMaskedPixelante: I'm itching to start it too but I will wait till the patch goes live. >>12/19/2014 - 7:52pm
Adam802Leland Yee and Jackson get trial date: http://sfbay.ca/2014/12/18/leland-yee-keith-jackson-get-trial-date/12/19/2014 - 5:24pm
MaskedPixelanteNevermind. Turns out when they said "the patch is now live", they meant "it's still in beta".12/19/2014 - 5:07pm
MaskedPixelanteSo I bought Dark Souls PC, and it's forcing me to log into GFWL. Did I miss something?12/19/2014 - 5:00pm
Matthew Wilsonhttp://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/12/republicans-may-have-plan-to-save-internet-providers-from-utility-rules/ this is intreasting. congress may put net nutrality in to law to avoid title 2 classification12/19/2014 - 2:45pm
Matthew Wilsonhttp://www.polygon.com/2014/12/19/7421953/bullshit-cards-against-humanity-donated-250k-sunlight-foundation I have to admit I like the choice o organization. congrats to CAH.12/19/2014 - 1:51pm
E. Zachary KnightIf you are downloading a copy in order to bypass the DRM, then you are legally in the wrong. Ethically, if you bought the game, it doesn't matter where you download it in the future.12/19/2014 - 12:06pm
InfophileEZK: Certainly better that way, though not foolproof. Makes me think though: does it count as piracy if you download a game you already paid for, just not from the place you paid for it at? Ethically, I'd say no, but legally, probably yes.12/19/2014 - 11:20am
ZippyDSMleeAnd I still spent 200$ in the last month on steam/GOG stuff sales get me nearly every time ><12/19/2014 - 10:55am
ZippyDSMleeMaskedPixelante:And this is why I'm a one legged bandit.12/19/2014 - 10:51am
ZippyDSMleeE. Zachary Knight: I buy what I can as long as I can get cracks for it...then again it I could have gotton Lords of the Fallen for 30 with DLC I would have ><12/19/2014 - 10:50am
MaskedPixelantehttp://www.joystiq.com/2014/12/19/marvel-vs-capcom-origins-leaving-online-storefronts-soon/ Speaking of "last chance to buy", Marvel vs. Capcom Origins is getting delisted from all major storefronts. Behold the wonders of the all digital future.12/19/2014 - 9:59am
MaskedPixelanteSeriously, the so-called "Last Chance" sale was up to 80% off, while this one time only return sale goes for a flat 85% off with a 90% off upgrade if you buy the whole catalogue.12/19/2014 - 9:37am
E. Zachary KnightInfophile, Tha is why I buy only DRM-free games.12/19/2014 - 9:37am
MaskedPixelanteNordic is back on GOG for one weekend only. And at 85% off no less, which is kind of a slap in the face to people who paid more during the "NORDIC IS LEAVING FOREVER BUY NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE" sale, but whatever...12/19/2014 - 9:28am
InfophileRe PHX's link: This is one of the reasons the digital revolution isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's also the flip side where Sony can block access to games you've bought if they ban your account for unrelated reasons. All power is theirs.12/19/2014 - 8:52am
MaskedPixelantehttp://uplay.ubi.com/#!/en-US/events/uplay-15-days You can win FREE GAMES FOR A YEAR! Unfortunately, they're Ubisoft games.12/18/2014 - 6:29pm
Papa MidnightAh, so it was downtime. I've been seeing post appear in my RSS feed, but I was unable to access GamePolitics today across several ISPs.12/18/2014 - 6:06pm
james_fudgeSorry for the downtime today, folks.12/18/2014 - 5:54pm
 

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