Some Amusing Letters to Santa

December 23, 2010 -

A series of letters to Santa from the third grade class at Goessel Elementary School (Marion, Kansas) might just give you the Christmas spirit. The most amusing questions that children asked were why Santa was so fat and why his wife wouldn't help him deliver presents.

Naturally the most asked for items were video games and video game systems. One third-grader even asked for Call of Duty: Black Ops. I hope that Santa does not fulfill that particular request. Below are a few amusing samples:

How is your life with Mrs. Claus? Do you have kids? I am funny and silly and everyone that I know is nice. I want Legos, video games, candy, Call of Duty Black Ops, and a DSi. I will get my cousins an iPhone and my dad a car. We have a white house with blue lights and do not have a chimney. Do the reindeer talk? This year I think I will leave juice for you because I do not want a fat Santa. How did you get fat in the first place? How did you get the job? Thank you for the presents. Your friend,

Luke

Vincent wants a lot. I feel sorry for Santa:

How many hairs would there be if you would shave? I’ve been good but my brothers have not. How about you? Have you been good? I want candy, Bakugan, Legos, DS games, PSP, PS3, Xbox Live, Xbox 360, and a Playstation 3. My friend Cody wants lots of video games. My house is very tall and is white and tan. Go to the garage and my Christmas tree is in our living room. Do you feed your reindeer? I will leave some carrots for you that way you can fit down the chimney. Has your suit ever been a different color than red? Thank you for everything you’ve given me. Your friend,

Vincent

Anton wants video games and asks Santa why he's so fat:

Do you like video games? I live in the country in a house with a brown roof. Santa, how did you get so fat? Get my brother, Jakob, an mp3. I want video games and Legos. I’ve been both naughty and nice this year. Does Rudolph have a bright nose? I will leave you some pop and cookies because you like it. Santa, are you going to ever switch jobs? Does your wife deliver presents with you? Does your sleigh carry magic? Thank you for listening. Your friend,

Anton

You can read the rest of the letters here.

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IronPatriotbenohawk, TotalBiscuit is a totalLIAR and decided to be part of the gamergate problem.08/03/2015 - 4:27pm
IronPatriotbenohawk, here are some of TotalBiscuit's totalLIES against gamergate victims: https://medium.com/@SvizraLion/everything-totalbiscuit-got-wrong-in-way-too-many-words-4df407e8113c08/03/2015 - 4:27pm
IronPatriotbenohawk, TotalBiscuit claims he's against harassment, but he joined a movement created for harassment and told inflammatory lies about the victims of gamergate.08/03/2015 - 4:25pm
IronPatriotbenohawk, TotalBiscuit told massive lies about gamergate victims like Sarkeesian. What difference does it make if one side of his mouth says he's against harassment when he joins a movement created for harassment?08/03/2015 - 4:23pm
Big PermIn the end, I can respect it being their tournament with their rules.08/03/2015 - 3:58pm
Andrew EisenHell, I don't like a lot of character designs/costumes but I don't believe I've ever actually been upset by one.08/03/2015 - 3:58pm
Andrew EisenMatthew - There are always people upset with every character design in existence. So? You can't please everyone.08/03/2015 - 3:57pm
Andrew EisenI think it was more an attempt for everyone else to take it seriously. Either way, it was just a suggested option for tournament organizers.08/03/2015 - 3:56pm
Big PermI can't imagine a DoA tournament existed beforehand to showcase the boob physics. I'd think it was already taken seriously by the people who play it08/03/2015 - 3:55pm
Andrew EisenYeah, I remember the "let's suggest an optional restrict certain outfits from Dead or Alive tournament play to encourage people to take the game seriously and focus on the gameplay." That should have nothing to do with DOAX3 localization decisions though.08/03/2015 - 3:54pm
Big PermProbably just twitter drama then. I don't remember game sites being surprised DoA had bouncing boobs08/03/2015 - 3:53pm
Matthew Wilsonin any case people who want it can just import it, unlike Nintendo, the ps4 isnt region locked08/03/2015 - 3:53pm
Matthew Wilsonthe costumes stuff I am ok with. its their tourament, but people were getting upset by the disgin of the characters08/03/2015 - 3:51pm
Matthew Wilsonthat was a difrent more recent one.08/03/2015 - 3:49pm
benohawkI don't remember the exact game and tourney, but Matt and Perm are right that they tried to ban dome female costumes from a tournament a few months ago08/03/2015 - 3:49pm
Big PermLink to community forums that have tournament rules http://www.freestepdodge.com/threads/fsd-doa-tournament-standard-rules.156/08/03/2015 - 3:48pm
Matthew WilsonI belive it was dead or alive08/03/2015 - 3:48pm
Andrew EisenWho was getting upset by how the females looked in what?08/03/2015 - 3:46pm
Matthew WilsonIt may have been a difrent fighting game, but it did happen.08/03/2015 - 3:46pm
Matthew Wilsonpeople were getting upset by how some of the females looked.08/03/2015 - 3:45pm
 

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